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El Haumoana

The greatest in all Aotearoa

El Haumoana - The greatest in all Aotearoa

All legends have a beginning and El Haumoana’s is no different.

Click to enlargeEl Haumoana is the greatest identity to come out of Hawke’s Bay or possibly even all of Aotearoa. He is more famous than Paul Holmes, more charismatic than a glass of Hawke’s Bay Chardonnay, more handsome than King Andy himself. To understand the man you have to go back to the beginnings and like a good psychotherapist - probe his childhood.

El Haumoana grew up in in the idyllic coastal paradise of Haumoana, on the east coast of sunny Hawke’s Bay in the North Island of Aotearoa, New Zealand. It is from this utopian town that he took his moniker, El Haumoana - The strong wind from the sea. Raised on Feijoa juice and fresh sea air he grew strong.

Click to enlargeAs a child he was often seen wrestling goats in the heat of the midday sun. Or he could be found running along the shingle beach, arms out-stretched with a lemon in each hand like golden beacons of hope. On every other weekend you might have found him swimming up the mighty Tuki Tuki River to the Black Bridge, only to swim back down to the river mouth and catch a large kahawai with his bare hands. Many a whitebaiter or fisherman would marvel at his fish-wrestling skills.

El Haumoana attended the local Haumoana School and later on became an active member of the Haumoana Mens Knitting Club. He spent his evenings knitting, wailing hard on his electric guitar and honing his wrestling skills.

Click to enlargeUpon leaving school he took a job as a bouncer at the local Fish and Chip Shop. From here he was spotted by a roving talent scout and signed up for the infamous Muddy Pants Tour.

El Haumoana rose to stardom quickly after winning the National Light Heavyweight Slightly Pudgy Title by defeating Dr. Doom with his signature move The Lemon Squeeze. He would lose that title that same year to his rival Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. El Haumoana then gained international exposure by defeating Loo Wheeze to win his first of fifteen World Heavyweight Championship titles that he would hold during his career. At around the same time, the HMKC made a talent trading agreement with New Japan Pro Wrestling and Macrame Movement. Japanese superstars like Toyota Kawasaki and Subaru Suzuki would travel to Haumoana to face El Haumoana, while he would travel to Japan to face stars like Tiger Claw and Crouching Pelican.

Click to enlargeEl Haumoana is famous for his blue mask - and the fact that he is never seen without it. More than any other wrestler, El Haumoana is able to keep his true identity and face a mystery and this served him well in creating a mystique which increased his popularity with wrestling fans across Aotearoa. His appeal, however, did not stop with the hard-core local fans and he would eventually became one of the most popular movie stars in all of Haumoana, performing in movies such as El Haumoana vs. the Vampire Women of Clive, El Haumoana in the Car Museum and Ninja Mummies of Te Awanga.

Click to open pdf fileIn recent years El Haumoana has returned to his hometown and after many years of fame he relishes the quiet life and tranquility that living by the Pacific Ocean provides. When the sea is calm and the sun is high keep an eye out for the Masked Hero of Haumoana - you never know when you may spot him again.

Downloadable A4 Poster here (1.07mb)

El Haumoana ShirtGet your El Haumoana T-shirt here

Check out the other Haumoana shirts available here

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